Your mindset plays a major role in how you experience homeschool freedom! A homeschool mindset is significantly different from a traditional, mainstream school mindset. It took me a while to realise this, but once I did, my children and I experienced the homeschool freedom that was promised.
Let go of fear which keeps us trapped in a school mindset: fear the kids will fall behind, fear the kids will miss out, fear you are not good enough. The following quote helps us to understand the homeschool mindset a little better……
Let’s break this down to see how it fits within a homeschool mindset:
- Childhood is not a race to see how quickly a child can read, write, and count. We want to laugh and play with our kids. Impart our knowledge and wisdom and share our world. Wonder at how they grow and learn. Really get to know one another in spite of our struggles, frustrations, and tears. Move forward together in love and compassion.
- It is a small window of time. I think all parents of teens and adults will tell you to treasure them while they are young. While the days are long the years are truly short. In the blink of an eye, childhood is gone.
- To learn and develop. We are their parents, entrusted with their precious hearts and souls. What is it we want them to learn? What do we believe is most important for our child’s development? Be intentional with their learning and development.
- At a pace that is right for each individual child. Use this time to gain insight into the heart of our child. Their gifts and talents are waiting to be discovered. Help them learn self-knowledge, self-mastery, and ultimately wisdom. When you understand how your child learns and their passions it is easy to motivate them to learn – when they are ready.
- Earlier is not better. Push anyone before they are ready and you run the risk of pushing them away. Trust in the child and learning will happen; real learning.
What is mindset and how does it relate to freedom in your homeschool?
Your mindset will dictate the actions you take to achieve and sustain success as well as how you go about problem-solving and generating ideas. Not only does mindset guide your actions, it guides how you react too.
MINDSTRENGTH – HOW YOUR MINDSET AFFECTS OUTCOMES
So, what mindset do we need as a homeschool parent? Many of us, myself included, are not teachers, yet we educate our children with as much, if not more, success. I believe the reason for this is our ability to switch our mindset from teacher to mentor.
The Best Homeschool Mindset – Teacher v’s Mentor
While there are similarities between a teacher and a mentor, it is the difference that I want to focus on.
According to my trusty Macquarie Pocket Dictionary:
TEACH: (verb) 1. to give knowledge of a skill in. 2. to give knowledge or skill to; instruct. 3. to give knowledge, skill or instruction.
MENTOR: (noun) 1. a wise and trusted advisor. 2. a person who has sufficient experience or expertise to be able to assist others less experienced, and who acts as a role model.
To sumarise what I learned from my research of different definitions (thanks Google);
Teaching provides the student (your child) with information, with an emphasis on imparting knowledge or skill and stops there. Teaching focuses on how.
Mentoring, while imparts information and skill, the emphasis is on the relationship with the student (your child). A mentoring approach to parenting allows us to draw out the uniqueness of our children, deepening the bond of parent-child trust. Joseph W. Gauld puts it so well in his article for HuffPost. It opens with this quote:
Today’s system values students for their academic proficiency, but not for their individuality. So by supporting this system, parents unwittingly end up valuing children for what they can do, not for who they are.
Joseph W. Gauld – founder hyde school
When we switch to a mentoring, homeschool mindset, we move towards proactive parenting; intentional parenting. It allows us to see the big picture. Mentoring frees us up to take the necessary steps to move towards our end goals with confidence, even side-stepping academics for a short period of time if necessary. We are free to shape the emotional and intellectual intelligence of our children. We shape their mind and heart while valuing our children for who they are and drawing out their uniqueness.
Homeschool Mindset Freedom? – 5 Steps to make the change.
1. Understand your why.
Examine and write down why you homeschool. From this point, all decisions and goals are set. When you know why you are doing something, you can commit to making it happen. It helps you push through the hard times by focusing on what you truly want. It will help you homeschool with more purpose and clarity.
2. Know the goals you have for your children.
Not just for this year, but your entire homeschool journey. Begin with the end picture in mind and work backward from there. For example; my end goal was to ensure my children had a university pathway, regardless of whether they wanted to enter university or not. This goal was set when I began homeschooling the boys from kindergarten. From there, I was able to base all my educational decisions. Once my boys decided on their career path, we were able to move towards it. However, until that time this goal helped me stay focused on their outcome.
3. Deschool.
It is during this time where you begin to move towards a homeschool mindset. Take the time to really get to know your child. Learn how your child learns, begin to identify their interests. Learn how you like to teach. Identify triggers that set you and your children off. Discover your children’s character strengths as well as areas that need to improve. Research, read books, ask questions, find your homeschool tribe. Set the tone for your home. Work on establishing your family routine. But most importantly enjoy your time together. Play games, explore your neighbourhood, go on excursions together. Establish family times as well as quality one-on-one time with each of your children.
4. Slow Down.
There is no advantage to push your children across the school finish line early if they are not emotionally ready to take the next step. Take the time you and your children need to develop academic and character skills (yes, you will develop both these skills too!). You do not need to move at the same pace as a school. Go at the pace that suits your child. Sometimes they will power through a topic and other times they will need to slow down to take it in – this is OK. Sometimes you may need to get outside help on a topic – this is OK too. This is what the mentoring homeschool mindset is all about – feeling confident to create the right environment and conditions your child needs to grow.
5. Finally, accept that you will make mistakes…….
but you will not ruin your child. Learn your limitations and establish methods to work through them, for example, you may need a tutor for English (yep, that’s me). Learning from your mistakes provide wisdom and experience. The children learn that mistakes don’t lead to failure. With the right mindset, mistakes can lead to foresight, critical thinking, and problem-solving! To help me through the early days I kept reminding myself that I could not do a worse job than school. If I really left them uneducated then they would have to take an extra year to fill in the gaps. Luckily, they didn’t need the extra year.
In summary, a homeschool mindset gives you freedom. It allows you to walk away from the stresses of standardised testing, report cards, and grades. Confidence is gained to educate your child in a unique fashion. Finally, a homeschool mindset provides the freedom to truly educate your children, so they discover how to be the best versions of their authentic selves.
I will leave you with 2 quotes from one of my favourite authors, John Taylor Gatto:
The lesson of report cards, grades, and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the elevation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth.
john taylor gatto – dumbing us down: the hidden curriculum of compulsory schooling
The primary goal of real education is not to deliver facts but to guide students to the truths that will allow them to take responsibility for their lives.
john taylor gatto – a different kind of teacher: solving the crisis of american schooling
This post shares my experience and opinions only and is not professional advice. Please make your own decisions on what is right for your child and family given your individual circumstances.
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